How Meetings Are Conducted in The Boo

Meetings are the serious side of  business – and becoming almost fun in The Boo and a source of entertainment second to watching bootleg DVDs easily sourced from the local mall.

Now, anyone who has ever participated in group projects will know that a meeting is a platform to put forward issues to be discussed, sorted, reviewed, assessed or negotiated.  Most importantly, meetings help to improve communication channels and the information gathering process in order to ‘seal the deal’.

Suffice to say, I am made to endure monthly meetings in The Boo which tangent off the norm whereby the person calling the meetings works on his own personal vendetta in maliciously discrediting another member without the knowledge of business operation nor management, much less in bringing about a constructive and productive end-result, in the end, he achieved nothing other than making a fool of himself and wasting people’s time. This cycle (meetings – we have at least 10 in 1 day!  Go figure!) repeats every month timed to his sibling’s return from overseas.

Of course a lot of groundwork has to be done beforehand, that in gaining support of the other free-loading members,   Untruths are easy to dispell and accepted when benefits are involved. It is the conscience that has to be overcame,that’s when Lord Almighty comes in, “Our Father who art in Heaven, I come visit every Sunday”, and thus let meself be known as good-standin’ Christian. Heck! Ain’t know how tah read dah Bible ‘tho! No probs bro, just show dah face up! And thus, a town of sinners redeemed by the numerous Churches of different secs came.  (Yeah, I see a Church to the left and out  to the right of my apartment window)

As always and without fail, meetings has to be kicked off by the self-crowned Chairman-cum-MD (was cum Company Secretary as well before the legal eagles said “no can do”) for quorum. Torture then proceeds with his reading from the agenda. His oft side-kick aka his son aka drop-kick will thus read from his own set of script prepared by solicitors (paid no less from the Company’s coffers) and duly responded by the father by reading from his own set of scripts!  Back-and-forth and back-and-froth, seriously dudes your show/ duo-logue is bad – neither convincing nor deserving of the fudly TV – rewind and repeat, I doze off and can even repeat your lines. And why can’t you?

So Friday was one of those days, my first meeting started at 8:45am.  The only misnomer was that I had been kept awake by the annoying neighbourhood mutt which could not stop barking from 2am and was still going on when I left home at 7am. Tired and irritable, the fun of seeing people putting on a monkey-show reading from prepared scripts is wearing thin.  To break the monotony, I asked some questions, they can’t answer, irritated, they proceeded to raise their voice, then toned down when they realise they are losing their cool.   The indignant me asked some more questions and you see their faces darken.  Anyway, not in the mood to bicker, I have more important thing to do, say, “Toodle-doo, am ducking home Down-under.  Got a flight to catch.  See ya later, ta-tah!” .  I see their faces drop in disappointment, “What?”.  Sorry, dudes, I know you have prepped for 2 nights, judging from your Panda-eyes, but you can repeat your performance 6 more times yourselves – just tape record it and sent me the minutes, no? .  I pray that the chills awaits as I have a brand new Christopher Kane fur jacket mom bought for me hanging in my wardrobe.

With plenty of time, I swung by Sing Mee Kee Coffee Shop for the famous ‘Soon Kai’s Kampua’, named after a politician by his cronies because that was the kampua (dry tossed noodles) stall he often frequented. Much like tbe expired politician facing his twilight years battling Parkinson, this ordinary plate of tossed noodles in MSG and oil/ lard is cold, tasteless and unmemorable if not for its namesake.

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Kampua, dry tossed noodles traditionally in lard that Sibu is famous for

Much flavoursome and memorable was my inflight meal from Sibu to Kuala Lumpur. A Chicken Korma in thick peanut gravy, pickled vegetables and Biryani rice served piping hot. The sweet beef vermiceli was delicious, ate the marashino cherry but better leave the old-school Black Forest cake with mock cream untouched.

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MAS Inflight Meal from Sibu to KL

[Disclaimer:  Under the influence of a cheap Champers in the Kris Lounge, Changi Airport, I wrote this post on a strictly without prejudice basis whilst awaiting for my flight home to Sydney tonight.  So see yu later alligators, when I’m back in Sy-der-ney!]

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My ride – SilkAir from KL to Singapore today

Of Office Politics and A Trip to Bintangor

Date:  June 15 2013

Weekends in The Boo makes me realise how much I love to be at work.  There is hardly anything interesting to do nor malls to go.  The TV series and movies on Astro TV Channels are uninteresting and can be made into historical docos, yet they have them on repeat.   I can’t do any outdoor activities due to the heat and haze.  With the rice-planting season coming next month, the farmers are preparing their land by burning the soil.  Burning has the effect of disinfecting the land while also acting as a natural fertiliser.

Today, I went on a road-trip to Bintangor which is about 45mins away.  All the bumping, rattling and shaking tired me out so I took a nap before my planned run in the evening.  Anyway, I got woken up by an email from the office at 4pm (on a Saturday arvo!!  Some serious OT here…), so I had to draft a reply to the retarded email from a director of the company.  He is also a ‘Datuk Pemanca’, that is ‘Justice of Peace’ or some sort of  leader in the Chinese Community in The Boo.  Let’s check out how retarded he is… Here are some of the highlights…

  1. Reading from prepared scripts (in English) in his thick Foochow accent, peppered with pompous, big, unpronouceable English words  – kinda funny trying to catch what he is saying and ask him to repeat;
  2. Reading from well-rehearsed and co-ordinated dialogues together with his accomplices  – totally like clowns putting on a monkey show, I totally dig that!  
  3. Retarded protocols such as telling a director and a shareholder of the company to meet the CFO of the company (who the hell is the CFO?  What is his name?) in the CFO’s office – Honestly dude, you got the hierarchy wrong.  Shareholder pays CFO’s salary, so CFO meets with Shareholder at the time of her convenience and on her terms! 
  4. Telling the Board of Directors that the Chairman and MD only do PR works, go to government and BOD meetings and NOT management meetings because he only reads Management Reports?  – Hell, aren’t you suppose to ‘manage’ the company.  Are you telling me, the MD only manages Directors?
  5. Shareholders and Directors are not allowed priviledged info – Hang on, Shareholders and Directors are to be kept in the dark without any knowledge of what their company is doing???

Hell!  Now you know what I mean, why I LOVE being at work in the office, lots of correspondences to write, tap, tap, tap, tapping on my keyboard and watching bad sketches.  An encounter with  tyrants/ retards/ idiots/ wankers…is FUN and really livens up the otherwise Boo-hoo-hoo Boo Town!

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Yes, I have digressed.  My trip to Bintangor… Can you imagine a bridge toll of RM5 per trip?  The trip is less than 1km long!  Penang Bridge costs less!  Who was the MP with the bad Elvis Presley  permed hair-do living in the ivory tower who approved that?  Let’s get the fact straight – RM10 per round trip is big money in The Boo.  Going by the kompia index, a bag of kompia, or Foochow bagels costs RM1 for 4 pieces and they are really filling…go figure!

So, the highlight of Bintangor is Bintangor Rojak from the famous No.7 Stall Wong Hung Ping at the Muslim food court.  This stall has been mentioned in newspapers as the selling the ‘Best rojak in Sarawak’!  A newspaper report is here

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Rojak:  A plate of pineapples, cucumber, pumpkins, Chinese gourd, deep-fried tofu and Chinese fried dough in sweet pungent caramelised fish sauce.  I especiallu liked the roasted peanut bits on top which gave the dish a wonderful aroma.  It is also very sweet.
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Fresh Coconut Water:  At RM3, very expensive.  This is old coconut, so the water is sweeter, with thicker,harder and creamier flesh

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Bintangor Oranges:  Sweet juicy oranges in green skins.  The size of grapefruits

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Bintangor Mandarins:  Sweet juicy mandarins in green skins.  The size of mandarins
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Read more on Bintangor here: